Firstly we all agree an Eating disorder is a psychological illness right? Well that's a fact so you can't disagree haha. But yes, it is a psychological illness, not an illness caused by viruses or bacteria. It's all in the mind. What is a psychological illness?
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A psychological illness is an illness causing disordered habits. Yes, purging food, not eating, excessively counting calories, over exercising, anxiety attacks over food, over obsession with food, and fearing foods are disordered habits. As long as they hinder your day to day life, it indicates something is wrong. If you find yourself panicking when you just ate a bowl of unknown-amount-of-calories food, then yes its not normal.
Secondly, when you have an eating disorder, you actually do think you see yourself larger than you actually are. Look at a photo of you and yourself in the mirror, sometimes you'll be shocked at how different the both of "you" look. "How can this be? My eyes can't be like having distorted lenses of anything." Well, I mean eating disorders are technically referring to disordered minds.
I can't actually explain that but honestly, try asking an anorexic that you find disgustingly skinny and ask them if they feel too skinny. well, I'm 98% sure (unless they're in recovery and recovering well) that they'll say they aren't THAT skinny. If you ave like many people telling you how skinny you are, they aren't lying, your mind is.
Another thing, not all people with eating disorders are underweight. I mean when I first started having a disordered lifestyle i was healthy weight, then I became like a total disgusting skeleton (I looked like 20 years older than my age, disgustingly pale and technically, I only had like admirers when i was at a healthy, pre-ed weight. hahahaha). You can't say I didn't have an ED until I reached that pathetic state right? Like lets say having stage 2 cancer doesn't mean no cancer or minor depression does not mean no depression.
Sometimes 2 disordered habits cross out each other, lets say binging and purging. Binging, then purging cancels out each other so sometimes you won't loose nor gain weight. Doesn't mean that's not a disordered habit right! I mean if I told you I have 5 binge episodes everyday and purge 4 times a day, if you tell me I don't have an eating disorder just because I'm not underweight, you're worse than dense. Really. Ask a 4 year old and I'm sure they'll tell you it's just horribly, well, disordered.
Again I'd like to re-emphasize that an eating disorder is a psychological illness alright! So if you ave an eating disorder please don't listen to the disordered thoughts. You know which are the negative thoughts really, because we all have this "voice of consciousness" in us telling us right from wrong.
When your mind tells you you're fat, IT'S LYING.
When your mind tells you you can never recover, IT'S LYING.
When your mind tells you you're just being healthy, IT'S LYING.
When your mind tells you you won't die if you continue, IT'S LYING.
When your mind tells you you will stop loosing weight when you reach a goal weight, IT'S LYING.
Even if you have to make a conscious effort, even if it's awkward, even if you have to force yourself to, whenever the negative thoughts come to you, BATTLE IT. Usually people with ED like to always be better than someone else, because we all feel insecure. Please don't feel ashamed by this fact because really, it's not you. It's the disorder. YOU ARE NOT YOUR DISORDER, YOUR DISORDER WILL GO AWAY.
So whenever your disordered thoughts come, challenge them. (e.g.) :
"You're so fat why do you need to gain weight?"
"Statistics, reliable, scientific reports show that I am NOT fat, and I'm at risk of dying."
"If those were true you'd be dead already. You're special, you're stronger than the other average people you won't die that easily."
"Yeah right. What makes you say that? I'm not an immortal, and you are a disorder, you lie to me. You've been lying since day one. You told me I will stop loosing weight when i hit xx kg but now I'm much lower than that and you tell me I'm fat. Listening to you makes me a weakling, disobeying you makes me a winner. Because listening to you is easier than defying you. And every change is decisive, not natural. I didn't naturally develop an eating disorder. People don't naturally get depressed. If that was the case why isn't xx having an eating disorder? Or depression? Look at my classmates, they're all healthy and happy. You are a liar, and you should go away. I'm not listening to you because I'm not gonna become a slave to you."
Stay strong lovelies, you aren't too fat to have an eating disorder. Whenever you feel this way, think of your disordered habits. Think of your best friend telling you they did those disordered habits. Then think, do you think they have a disorder?
Weight is NO indicator of the degree of an eating disorder.
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